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Artist
- Oct 24, 1990
- United States
- Deviant for 13 years
- She / Her
Badges
My Bio
I'm too boring to share, but too interesting to stay silent.
Also, I'm controlling you with my mind. You're looking at this page, right?
Also, I'm making you read these puns. Go!
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
8. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
9. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
10. A calendar's days are numbered.
11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
15. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .
17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
18. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
20. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of defeat.
21. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
23. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
25. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
27. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet.'
33. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
34. Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.
Current Residence: Omaha, Nebraska
deviantWEAR sizing preference: x-large
Favourite genre of music: Country and Alternative
Favourite photographer: ~lgbtactivist
Favourite style of art: Poetry
Operating System: Mac OSX
MP3 player of choice: ipod touch
Favourite cartoon character: Hannelore Ellicot-Chatham
Personal Quote: Still waters run deep
Also, I'm controlling you with my mind. You're looking at this page, right?
Also, I'm making you read these puns. Go!
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
8. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
9. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
10. A calendar's days are numbered.
11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
15. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .
17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
18. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
20. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of defeat.
21. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
23. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
25. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
27. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet.'
33. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
34. Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.
Current Residence: Omaha, Nebraska
deviantWEAR sizing preference: x-large
Favourite genre of music: Country and Alternative
Favourite photographer: ~lgbtactivist
Favourite style of art: Poetry
Operating System: Mac OSX
MP3 player of choice: ipod touch
Favourite cartoon character: Hannelore Ellicot-Chatham
Personal Quote: Still waters run deep
Favourite Visual Artist
Picasso
Favourite Movies
Iron Man 2
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
Intercept
Favourite Writers
Leonard Cohen
Favourite Games
Texas Hold 'Em
Favourite Gaming Platform
xbox 360
Tools of the Trade
Celtx (script program)
Other Interests
Gaelic, film criticism
Finally
0 min read
I finally found the poem that says everything I've ever wanted to say and I didn't write it. It's exactly it. It's amazing. It's clear, concise, lyrical, to the point, rhythmic and perfect. And I did not produce it. So now I just have to figure out how to say the exact same thing that poem said, but in my own way. Challenge accepted
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Cosplay
0 min read
Has anyone noticed that there are a lot of cosplays that are amazing and who also happen to be very hot? For some reason, I've been finding a lot of cosplays where girls are playing guys, which totally gets me. They're just so pretty!
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The lazy poem got typed.
0 min read
I am taking a moment out of my day to wallow in self pity. It's Father's Day. And I have lost my father. Not in a conveniently sorrowful way that means I can still feel love for him even though he's gone. He would have to be dead for that to happen. But he is not dead. He is the man who skipped out on my mom, on me, and who has subjugated out family to hell for the past months. He's the one who has participated in the sad cliche of "never calling, never writing." He's gone. And all I can manage to feel on Father's Day is an ironic form of anger, cold anger, anger that does not burn what it touches and gives no light. And now my moment is done
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Profile Comments 147
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Thank you again!
Thank you ^^
Thanks for the fave! I love your icon 
Thank you for the fave
thnx 4 tha 
Thanks for the